The dangers of "keyboard courage"

Jeff Eller
Apr 21, 2019
3 min read

Each and every year I become less and less patient with our propensity to communicate via the "keyboard". Sure there are advantages to electronic communications and like most people, I see the obvious value in terms of quick response time for simple queries. That being said I feel that at times we are underestimating the value of the face-to-face conversation in terms of our own personal and group development.

I am amazed at how easily people would rather take the most circuitous route to solve a problem or clear up a miscommunication. Rather than just go see the person directly, they will set up a whole group on WhatsApp to complain, or wander around to a a multitude of colleagues to express displeasure, or possibly worse they will post some random, passive aggressive, and likely anonymous rant on some online forum. The "courage" people exhibit behind a keyboard is just mind-numbing at times. They will express a multitude of things online that they would never do in person and all of this indirect communication, in my opinion, has little value.

As challenging as it may seem, there is no substitute for direct communication and its benefits go well beyond just its overall effectiveness. Here are just a few advantages to the face-to-face conversation:

Direct conversations stimulate creativity and inspiration. In terms of fostering new ideas or new viewpoints on old problems, there is no substitute for the opportunity to directly exchange ideas. If both parties are engaged for the same purpose and approach the conversation with no ulterior motives or a desire to "win the conversation" the possibility for creative problem solving is immense.
Direct communication creates a greater sense of trust and honesty amongst people. Face-to-Face conversation engages a multitude of senses - we understand one another better through their facial expression and body language. This direct, personal interaction without the mystery that electronic communication can create increases the degree of trust and a sense of closeness. Just simply having the possibility of direct eye-contact is the best way to build trust and develop a more positive relationship.
Direct communication creates greater work efficiency. For me this is one of the most important reasons for emphasizing direct communication. I can't begin to count the number of times a single email has turned into a chain of emails and ultimately a group meeting to "clear the air". I am then left to wonder how much time we all could have saved if that first person would have just backed away from the keyboard and instead went to see someone directly. The likelihood of miscommunication from a "keyboard conversation" is great in my opinion and thus the possibility of misunderstanding increases as well.
Direct communication brings happiness or at the least avoids the unhappiness that results from electronic communication. People share laughter and emotion during face-to-face conversations. Unlike digital communication where one isolates him/herself in a room and looking at a screen for hours, face-to-face conversation allows participants to really feel one another. This is never a lonely task because you are accompanied by others.

I do truly believe that we are more alike than we are different and one of the only things that gives us the feeling that we are different is the distance between us when we communicate. So, as you chart your path forward make sure you balance the immediacy of electronic communication and next time your tempted to communicate via electronics, take your fingers off of the keyboard and instead use your legs to walk over to share your concerns or ideas with people directly. As Nelson DeMille once said "Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face".