Finding a "nutshell" in the nonsense

I have no idea if these days you are feeling the same as me, but I am spending a fair amount of my time each day trying to "escape". All around me I see complexity, anxiety, and unfortunately what seems like more bad news each day. In combating this wave of uncertainty and negativity I try really hard to find something that will allow me to "escape". Sometimes this is time with my dog Ama, sometimes it is a Gin & Tonic and my book in the garden, and sometimes it is just some kind of nonsensical tv show or movie.

A couple weeks ago I came across the tv show "Ted Lasso"which is a TV show on Apple TV+ starring SNL alum Jason Sudeikis. The show is about an American college football coach named Ted Lasso who is recruited to coach an English Premier League team, AFC Richmond, despite having no experience with the latter sport. Now I find Jason Sudeikis absolutely hilarious and the fact the story is about British "soccer" makes it all the more attractive to me.

Now at no point did I expect to really pick up anything of value in watching the show, in fact I was hoping for just the opposite. I was truly hoping to just disappear into a 30 minute comedy and put aside my endless concerns about a host of issues that dominate the daily news as well as the challenges that I face in my work environment. However in Episode 8 (entitled Diamond Dogs) Ted finds himself in the middle of a darts game against Rupert the former owner of AFC Richmond and as he prepares to fire his last darts at the board he shares a quote that he attributes to the American poet Walt Whitman...."Be curious, not judgemental"

And there we go... in a moment of escapism and nonsense I find something insightful and important. In the scene Ted Lasso speaks about people underestimating him and how they passed judgement on him and it really bothered him. He went on to say that it bothered him for a long time until he finally realized it had nothing to do with him and it had more to do with the people that were casting judgment on him. He goes on to suggest that Instead of casting judgment on others maybe the thing we should be doing is asking questions that are necessary for us each to gain our own understanding of a situation or other people..

It is so easy these days to cast judgement on others. The internet is full of videos that cause of all to wonder how can someone do that to another person or why would someone support that political candidate. Maybe in following Ted Lasso's lead the focus instead should be on increasing our curiosity on what caused that action to take place or for that person to support a candidate. I wonder sometimes if I worked in a coal mining town and found my town's economic livelihood being eliminated how might I react? Would I run out and support any candidate who promised me that they could keep my life as it used to be? Or similarly if I lived in a neighborhood with no jobs and failing schools would I react with violence when my frustration overwhelmed me?

Through all of its silliness "Ted Lasso" has reinforced to me the importance remaining curious and to ask questions rather than stand in judgment of someone else. Furthermore it has caused me not to question someone else's beliefs, but instead wonder what must be going on that has caused them to hold those beliefs?

I really don't think we are all that different from each other. We all want to be safe, healthy, able to provide for our families. It is really the environment around us or the situation we find ourselves in that cause us to maybe cast judgement instead of remaining curious. It seems to me that when we live in challenging and ever changing times we tend to seek the safety and ease of "judgement" first before the the most difficult task of asking the big questions that usually begin with "I wonder why..." or "I wonder what I would do if..."

Thanks to Ted Lasso for providing me with a much needed escape as well as a little "food for thought".

Be safe... be healthy... be well... and don't be silent!.

====================================================================== "Before passing a judgement on somebody just give it a thought about what he or she went through"

-Paresh Rawal